I remember when people were kind and considerate. At least, I thought they were. When I was a kid, home seemed rough. School seemed impossible. However, aside from some minor incidents, when I went out in the world, people were generally pretty nice to me. My grandmother's friends were nice enough, strangers were patient and kind to me, and the world seemed to be a pretty swell and safe place.
When did people turn so cruel? Or, when did I become so aware of it?
Now, let me clarify, although I did grow up in a fairly sheltered world, I still faced the troubles most quirky, quiet kids faced. I got bullied and abused, I was mocked and ridiculed, everything about me was put-down, hated, and cruelly diminished.
Somehow, though, I didn't take this to mean everyone was cruel. I didn't assume everyone was out to get me. My optimism and kind personality stuck with me through the physical and verbal abuse. It definitely wasn't me who became cold and lost compassion, that's for sure. At some point, though, I noticed a pattern. Friends stabbed backs, strangers betrayed and threatened you, family let you down, and the world was just a complete, chaotic mess.
Yet, still, I wasn't hardened by this reality. I didn't want to be like them, so I didn't allow myself to become like them. Sure, once in awhile I'll give a glare or make a comment that I regret, but generally, I look kindly upon humanity. As much as I want to lose faith, I don't have it in me. Honestly, it takes a lot of energy to put up that much of a shield. No one may hurt you, but you can't touch the lives of others, either. When that light dims and that armour goes up, you lose a connection. The only connection we have in life is with each other. Other animals and plants and worldly things are great in their own way, but there's something about humans that is irresistible. They're disgusting and mean and conniving, and generally just have so many awful traits, but their OURS. As kind as you and I are, as wonderful and intelligent and open-minded and tolerant and not annoying as we think we "ARE", we are human, and we are just as capable of being the very same. There may be someone out there who views you that way.
We don't have the ability to change the things we don't like, but we can change ourselves. Right? Remember that little tidbit of wisdom we've all heard? You're stuck with humans. You don't have to completely immerse yourself in their culture (i.e. television, social media, magazines...) but just remember that we're all confused and slightly crazy patients to each other. We learn from others and have to accept all, even those we don't like, because they aren't going anywhere.
Since I mentioned it, those who really want to detach from other humans, whether temporarily or for life, step away from all those commercials! The movies and fake news is just selling you thoughts and feelings. While being present and aware is great, it's swallowing each and every one of us. That phone in your pocket is constantly gnawing at you, eating away at your pocket, trying to get to you. Delete all your junk, sign out of all your garbage, and breathe. Admire the sky or the person or pet you love. Read that book or learn Spanish and ballroom dancing..... Do everything and anything you can. Because one day you'll wonder why life is so short, and I'll be there chuckling. It wasn't short, you just kept wondering when the next Friday would be or when the next show would come out on Netflix or why the guy you like is commenting on another person's photos, or how come your legs don't look like his legs or her hair or their cool outfits which you need more money for, but your job is stupid. Even though you go in everyday and grumble and make fun of the worker who is smiling all day. That person probably is feeling the same or is using every ounce of their energy to not feel that way. You don't have to be that person, but why not be that person?
Is this just another overly-positive pep talk that doesn't apply to 40% of the depressed population? Yes. You don't want to hear this. Why? Because being sad or angry or any negative emotion kind of feels good sometimes. Now, don't over-do it, but I hear ya. It's so satisfying to hate things and hear sympathy and find all the reasons to dislike stuff in life. That's why most of us do it in big chunks. Some people hate everything a little bit over a long period of time. That sounds more exhausting and then you have to deal with annoying people asking you about it. Sometimes it's just easiest to take a month or two or three or six to hate yourself and your life and the world and your job and your sneakers and your eyelashes and your wrists and your depression. Hate it. It's not good. No one gets to tell you not to hate it. They will, but that's stupid. Bad things are bad. No reason to pretend you love it ALL the time. Just, go in and do what you have to, if you want to do that, and then go home and cry into a pillow. Or make a major life change or see a therapist or... find something to do and move on. Maybe moving on from the familiar and comfortable (even the miserable, uncomfortable) is the hardest part. Be okay with not being okay and not being happy AND be okay with the pleasure you get from being unhappy. It sounds twisted and unappreciative, but you have to deal with stuff, and you are the one not enjoying it, and that's a bummer. A huge bummer. Have emotions and own them!
Friday, March 4, 2016
Saturday, February 6, 2016
Letting Go of Superman
As children, we all select our heroes and role models. Sometimes they're the characters who look and act cool, sometimes they're the singers who dress up and sing songs that make us smile or cry. Other times, they're the people who matter to us because they seem big and powerful, and make our young eyes widen in awe. These people can be aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, siblings, or even the super chill dude who comes over to fix the toilet. Whoever this person may be, they change our views on the world. They mould us into teenagers and young adults with goals based on their opinions of the world. Sometimes they just teach us how to dress like an adult or what movies to watch, but other times these role models shape our entire lives and self-opinions.
However, as we get older, we become more aware of the world and those around us. We begin to see just who these role models are, and what the role they are modeling is, exactly. This is when things can get a little sticky. Upon adulthood, we can recognize people's flaws. Everyone has them, but when it comes to the people who made us who we are today, it can be a little shocking when you discover for what you were aiming.
We all know it is a dangerous endeavour to go out and meet those singers, actors, lecturers, and artists whom we have come to worship and "understand" like a close friend. Why is this? What is so potentially hazardous? Yeah, the person can turn into a stone cold jerk and kill all your fantasies, but what's so bad about that? Well, think about it.... This is the person whom you framed your life around. You were exerting your every energy in an attempt to be this person! Now, to get this far, only to find out that they're nothing like what you had lusted over for all those years? What now? You're alone in the world and you know at least part of your being consists of Jerky McDoogle. The person or people who you decided would make your life better, nay, make YOU better, are people who can give you incorrect and skewed views on the world. It's like, maybe Britney Spears can wear pigtails as an adult, but not everyone can pull off that look. Seriously, guys, NOT everyone can pull it off. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Cameras and lights only give us a smidgen of the picture, the flawless bits. Just as childhood will do. You may know your Uncle Hooha is the only guy in the family who talks to you and treats you like an adult and lets you drive his car and helped you move into your first dorm, but what if you find out he's also a meth-addict who steals from elderly people? You know it's wrong and bad, and not at all who you want to be, but it can be hard to turn off that burning desire to be him. The desire won't just vanish after 18, 25, 42... years of your hard work.
The reality is, you still are anxious to hang out with him because he has crazy stories and lots of weird friends. When you discover who these weird friends are who you've been hanging out with since you were 2 years old, you're a bit turned off, but you're likely in denial. Chances are, you're coming up with reasons that it's okay to hang out with meth addicts and dealers. You think next time will be different. Uncle Hooha is still a good guy! Albeit, misguided, but still hero-worthy.
This is a habit I think an adult must muster up the strength to release. There's a time in life when one must become aware of what's unsafe and unhealthy for their well-being. All preconceived notions of heroism must be altered. Adoration must be put on hold or completely eradicated.
Easier said than done.
Not to mention, people do change. Someone who truly was worth your admiration when you were a kid may turn into a selfish, judgmental snob. He/she may not be objectively a bad person, but he/she could be bad for you in other ways. This person may now criticize you or make you feel insignificant. You may no longer be of great importance in their life, therefore, be cast aside. Thus, leaving you brokenhearted and confused. Confused because it is not normal for a personality to suddenly change completely. Nor for a person to change priorities and views and interests drastically over time or all of a sudden. Learning this and accepting this new reality takes time, like slamming the brakes and having to wait a moment or two before the car actually stops. Spending time with this person may no longer work for you, and that's okay. You've changed, as well. You need different things and thoughts and people. Don't be afraid of letting go because you feel you will never have another person to fill that role. There will be more role models! Maybe they come from books or movies, from classes or jobs, maybe even people you used to look down upon will surprise you with a comeback. Whatever the case, the first step is untying yourself from the weak fish before you both drown. Today's Superman can be tomorrow's Doctor Octopus. You'll be okay without Doc Ock, now he's just holding you down.
However, as we get older, we become more aware of the world and those around us. We begin to see just who these role models are, and what the role they are modeling is, exactly. This is when things can get a little sticky. Upon adulthood, we can recognize people's flaws. Everyone has them, but when it comes to the people who made us who we are today, it can be a little shocking when you discover for what you were aiming.
We all know it is a dangerous endeavour to go out and meet those singers, actors, lecturers, and artists whom we have come to worship and "understand" like a close friend. Why is this? What is so potentially hazardous? Yeah, the person can turn into a stone cold jerk and kill all your fantasies, but what's so bad about that? Well, think about it.... This is the person whom you framed your life around. You were exerting your every energy in an attempt to be this person! Now, to get this far, only to find out that they're nothing like what you had lusted over for all those years? What now? You're alone in the world and you know at least part of your being consists of Jerky McDoogle. The person or people who you decided would make your life better, nay, make YOU better, are people who can give you incorrect and skewed views on the world. It's like, maybe Britney Spears can wear pigtails as an adult, but not everyone can pull off that look. Seriously, guys, NOT everyone can pull it off. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Cameras and lights only give us a smidgen of the picture, the flawless bits. Just as childhood will do. You may know your Uncle Hooha is the only guy in the family who talks to you and treats you like an adult and lets you drive his car and helped you move into your first dorm, but what if you find out he's also a meth-addict who steals from elderly people? You know it's wrong and bad, and not at all who you want to be, but it can be hard to turn off that burning desire to be him. The desire won't just vanish after 18, 25, 42... years of your hard work.
The reality is, you still are anxious to hang out with him because he has crazy stories and lots of weird friends. When you discover who these weird friends are who you've been hanging out with since you were 2 years old, you're a bit turned off, but you're likely in denial. Chances are, you're coming up with reasons that it's okay to hang out with meth addicts and dealers. You think next time will be different. Uncle Hooha is still a good guy! Albeit, misguided, but still hero-worthy.
This is a habit I think an adult must muster up the strength to release. There's a time in life when one must become aware of what's unsafe and unhealthy for their well-being. All preconceived notions of heroism must be altered. Adoration must be put on hold or completely eradicated.
Easier said than done.
Not to mention, people do change. Someone who truly was worth your admiration when you were a kid may turn into a selfish, judgmental snob. He/she may not be objectively a bad person, but he/she could be bad for you in other ways. This person may now criticize you or make you feel insignificant. You may no longer be of great importance in their life, therefore, be cast aside. Thus, leaving you brokenhearted and confused. Confused because it is not normal for a personality to suddenly change completely. Nor for a person to change priorities and views and interests drastically over time or all of a sudden. Learning this and accepting this new reality takes time, like slamming the brakes and having to wait a moment or two before the car actually stops. Spending time with this person may no longer work for you, and that's okay. You've changed, as well. You need different things and thoughts and people. Don't be afraid of letting go because you feel you will never have another person to fill that role. There will be more role models! Maybe they come from books or movies, from classes or jobs, maybe even people you used to look down upon will surprise you with a comeback. Whatever the case, the first step is untying yourself from the weak fish before you both drown. Today's Superman can be tomorrow's Doctor Octopus. You'll be okay without Doc Ock, now he's just holding you down.
Thursday, December 3, 2015
What I become
I get anxious. I know. I get panicky and freak-out and withdraw into my own little disassociated, safe world. I don't feel safe, though. Any moment my hyperventilation will overwhelm my heart and I'll fall apart and die. Not only will I be dead, but I'll humiliate myself in front of others.
"What is wrong with her? She looks crazy. Why can't she control herself?"
That's what they'll say. Not even to laugh at me, not even for a joke, but as a serious concern for their safety and an attack at my lack of self-control.
No matter how much green tea I drink or how many times I "Om", people and places and things tear away all my defenses. It's like trying to protect myself from a bullet using a paper plate. All my swords and tact and wisdom fall to the floor as anxiety flashes and lingers. Sometimes for 30 minutes, sometimes for 2 hours... sometimes longer.
The ground is no longer below me, my hands of no use. I am myself alone in a blurry vortex that spins and whirls and abuses me. As I reach out, grasping for a cliff or a hand to cling onto, my eyes widen and my eyes tighten as I realize that I am now a ghost. Unable to be seen or heard. The tears bursting in my stomach are flooding me while the room of people clamour with no knowledge of my torturous experience.
This is a futile war wherein nothing is accomplished. I am the only casualty each and every time.
Sometimes I wish the war would take me for good. That I wouldn't receive a bonus life; an opportunity to try again. Just left on the ground. My tired, weak arms gripped unto one another, my fingers loosening each second as life leaves my corpse. My unshorn, mistakenly born legs caved inward; as an attempt to contain my rigorously-working heart before it builds up the strength to flee into the world, in order to breathe again.
Just one more, I beg. I anxiously await that final touch which will turn the lights off and allow me to ease into surrender.
Then the time passes. Painfully so. The closet door is opened, the nails removed from my flesh, and I am victorious. I have faced demons and death. I have nearly submitted to Lucifer himself, right as I dropped to my knees and offered him my wrists and my throat. Saved by no one but a ghost who lingered within me.
"What is wrong with her? She looks crazy. Why can't she control herself?"
That's what they'll say. Not even to laugh at me, not even for a joke, but as a serious concern for their safety and an attack at my lack of self-control.
No matter how much green tea I drink or how many times I "Om", people and places and things tear away all my defenses. It's like trying to protect myself from a bullet using a paper plate. All my swords and tact and wisdom fall to the floor as anxiety flashes and lingers. Sometimes for 30 minutes, sometimes for 2 hours... sometimes longer.
The ground is no longer below me, my hands of no use. I am myself alone in a blurry vortex that spins and whirls and abuses me. As I reach out, grasping for a cliff or a hand to cling onto, my eyes widen and my eyes tighten as I realize that I am now a ghost. Unable to be seen or heard. The tears bursting in my stomach are flooding me while the room of people clamour with no knowledge of my torturous experience.
This is a futile war wherein nothing is accomplished. I am the only casualty each and every time.
Sometimes I wish the war would take me for good. That I wouldn't receive a bonus life; an opportunity to try again. Just left on the ground. My tired, weak arms gripped unto one another, my fingers loosening each second as life leaves my corpse. My unshorn, mistakenly born legs caved inward; as an attempt to contain my rigorously-working heart before it builds up the strength to flee into the world, in order to breathe again.
Just one more, I beg. I anxiously await that final touch which will turn the lights off and allow me to ease into surrender.
Then the time passes. Painfully so. The closet door is opened, the nails removed from my flesh, and I am victorious. I have faced demons and death. I have nearly submitted to Lucifer himself, right as I dropped to my knees and offered him my wrists and my throat. Saved by no one but a ghost who lingered within me.
Saturday, November 14, 2015
We can't wait....
Yesterday I was verbally and physically attacked by a mentally ill, homeless woman on the New York City Subway. Not only did she try to harm me, she truly had the desire to murder me. She told me this.
I do not blame this sick woman. Although she is the one who tried to slit my throat, suffocate me, and light me on fire, I do not feel she is responsible for her lack of mental health. The system and the system alone is where my blame lies. She is their responsibility, and if she gets hurt or hurts anyone else, they are the ones who are at fault.
This woman was no child. There is no chance this was a first offense. This woman was extremely delusional and unwell. There is no reason she should have been on the streets, in the subway, or anywhere where she had unsupervised access to the public. If I didn't have the upper body strength to keep her arm's-distance away, I would very likely not be alive this morning. Best case scenario, I would have been found on the subway floor in a puddle of my own blood, possibly engulfed in flames.
Dramatic, yes, but the reality of the situation. She had the means and no qualms with destroying me. So, again, I ask, why was this woman in a public area?
I could begin to question the decency of those who witnessed my attacker, and the 100% of these people who did nothing more than give me a glance and look nervous. Full-grown men who were twice her size and could have restrained her or even did so little as sat closer to me to keep an eye on the situation... did nothing at all. Some didn't so much as stir, so as to avoid any contact or involvement. Not even the subway worker in the booth, with a telephone and a glass safety net around him stood up when he saw this crazed woman following me, as I held her at a distance. But... what good is that discussion? This is the world we have found ourselves in, and really? There is no reason anyone else should have to put themselves at risk for the lives of a stranger because an individual who should not even be in public is not being properly watched.
Calling the police would have been worthless. Not only would it anger her more, I know for a fact that they wouldn't be on the scene for at least half an hour or so. By which point, I could have been so much worse off.
Instead, I avoided eye contact, didn't say a word, and simply blocked my head with one arm while creating a barrier with the other. My two arms were the only things keeping me alive. All I did then was run as she followed me to my apartment lobby. Again, just because of the fortune of my situation, the lobby door locked behind me and kept her out.
I don't have research to prove anything or laws and numbers at which to point and discuss. I have my own experience, my own utter terror and sleepless night and trauma-inducing tale to share, and that is my argument. These say everything that should need to be said.
One night in a prison cell would not reform this woman. She is not a heartless sociopath and she is not a criminal by choice. Treating her as such and then throwing her back on the streets does not protect her or me. One day, she will harass the wrong person, and someone will end up dead. Will anything change then? I honestly don't imagine so. One more life will be sacrificed to the gods of political denial and ignorance. I am sure there are hundreds if not thousands of people who have experienced what I did last night. That doesn't mean I won't share this story, though. The options are to fix or to fall.
I do not blame this sick woman. Although she is the one who tried to slit my throat, suffocate me, and light me on fire, I do not feel she is responsible for her lack of mental health. The system and the system alone is where my blame lies. She is their responsibility, and if she gets hurt or hurts anyone else, they are the ones who are at fault.
This woman was no child. There is no chance this was a first offense. This woman was extremely delusional and unwell. There is no reason she should have been on the streets, in the subway, or anywhere where she had unsupervised access to the public. If I didn't have the upper body strength to keep her arm's-distance away, I would very likely not be alive this morning. Best case scenario, I would have been found on the subway floor in a puddle of my own blood, possibly engulfed in flames.
Dramatic, yes, but the reality of the situation. She had the means and no qualms with destroying me. So, again, I ask, why was this woman in a public area?
I could begin to question the decency of those who witnessed my attacker, and the 100% of these people who did nothing more than give me a glance and look nervous. Full-grown men who were twice her size and could have restrained her or even did so little as sat closer to me to keep an eye on the situation... did nothing at all. Some didn't so much as stir, so as to avoid any contact or involvement. Not even the subway worker in the booth, with a telephone and a glass safety net around him stood up when he saw this crazed woman following me, as I held her at a distance. But... what good is that discussion? This is the world we have found ourselves in, and really? There is no reason anyone else should have to put themselves at risk for the lives of a stranger because an individual who should not even be in public is not being properly watched.
Calling the police would have been worthless. Not only would it anger her more, I know for a fact that they wouldn't be on the scene for at least half an hour or so. By which point, I could have been so much worse off.
Instead, I avoided eye contact, didn't say a word, and simply blocked my head with one arm while creating a barrier with the other. My two arms were the only things keeping me alive. All I did then was run as she followed me to my apartment lobby. Again, just because of the fortune of my situation, the lobby door locked behind me and kept her out.
I don't have research to prove anything or laws and numbers at which to point and discuss. I have my own experience, my own utter terror and sleepless night and trauma-inducing tale to share, and that is my argument. These say everything that should need to be said.
One night in a prison cell would not reform this woman. She is not a heartless sociopath and she is not a criminal by choice. Treating her as such and then throwing her back on the streets does not protect her or me. One day, she will harass the wrong person, and someone will end up dead. Will anything change then? I honestly don't imagine so. One more life will be sacrificed to the gods of political denial and ignorance. I am sure there are hundreds if not thousands of people who have experienced what I did last night. That doesn't mean I won't share this story, though. The options are to fix or to fall.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Is age just a number?
Lately I've noticed something new. It's an epidemic that needs to be addressed. Whenever I tell someone my age, (because, apparently, they absolutely MUST know...) I get the response, "Oh. Well, you're not that young. I thought you were younger."
Are people insane? If you're in your 20s, you are very young. If you're in your 30s, you're very young. I don't want to live a life of constantly being told I'm "not young". I don't want to be thought of as "not as young". The reality is, unless you're shutting down your life at 60, you're not old until you say you're old. We all know that if someone dies at 50, everyone will respond to the event,
"(S)he was so young...." I refuse to wait until I die in order to be called young.
There's certainly no shame in being old, but let's call things what they are. If I have the potential to live life and experience the world for 70 or 80 more years, maybe even more, there's no way you will convince me that I have lived for a long time. That is part of the definition of old; living a long time. I've lived over 20 years, but I've only been truly taking in the world and experiencing it at its fullest for the last... oh, maybe 15 years? Maybe 10? I couldn't even experience college until I was 18, I couldn't legally experience a bar until I was 21, I didn't see Europe until I was over 20! There is SO much I haven't done, seen, or tried. Even if I had done two or three times as much as I have done by my age, just due to reality and logistics, the amount I could possibly "live" in the period of time I've been alive is severely limited. My life has barely even started!
When I reach 60, maybe I'll retire. Maybe by then I'll have experienced parenting or sky diving or petting a monkey or receiving a senior discount! There is so much I am not old enough or haven't had the time to do because life hasn't been long enough yet. This is why older people are typically wealthier than younger people. They've have more time to accumulate that money! Not necessarily because they had such an intense education that let to such an intense job that led to such an intense income. Because time builds life and unless you have been freaking out and jamming in every experience humanly possible, there is a heckuva lot you haven't done. Fortunately, you have an equally large amount of time to do those things.
Once again society and media are at their typical hypocritical ways! They tell us age is just a number and that we ought to be youthful and joyful and feel young and beautiful... but then they start dictating what we should have done or be doing or be ready to do at a certain age. I for one am not worried about your or my life markers. I'm not spending my days counting down how much longer I have until I can no longer do certain things or how much longer I have to fulfill a certain expectation. Maybe I won't start using "age-defying gunk"! Or maybe I'll wear my hair long even when I'm 80.
There's no set list of what I should have done by 30 or what I should stop doing before 40 or what I should try after 20. My goals are personal, some are private, but I know I will achieve them, whether it takes me the rest of my life or less time than everyone else. This isn't a race, nor a countdown to death. I'm just enthusiastic about what I will do as I get older. When the time comes, and I know I am old (if that day ever comes), then I will fully embrace it and I will take out my dentures, become racist, tell people how I truly feel about them, and surrender. That day is not coming anytime soon, though, I have many, many years to embrace my youth and all the things I still can and will accomplish.
Are people insane? If you're in your 20s, you are very young. If you're in your 30s, you're very young. I don't want to live a life of constantly being told I'm "not young". I don't want to be thought of as "not as young". The reality is, unless you're shutting down your life at 60, you're not old until you say you're old. We all know that if someone dies at 50, everyone will respond to the event,
"(S)he was so young...." I refuse to wait until I die in order to be called young.
There's certainly no shame in being old, but let's call things what they are. If I have the potential to live life and experience the world for 70 or 80 more years, maybe even more, there's no way you will convince me that I have lived for a long time. That is part of the definition of old; living a long time. I've lived over 20 years, but I've only been truly taking in the world and experiencing it at its fullest for the last... oh, maybe 15 years? Maybe 10? I couldn't even experience college until I was 18, I couldn't legally experience a bar until I was 21, I didn't see Europe until I was over 20! There is SO much I haven't done, seen, or tried. Even if I had done two or three times as much as I have done by my age, just due to reality and logistics, the amount I could possibly "live" in the period of time I've been alive is severely limited. My life has barely even started!
When I reach 60, maybe I'll retire. Maybe by then I'll have experienced parenting or sky diving or petting a monkey or receiving a senior discount! There is so much I am not old enough or haven't had the time to do because life hasn't been long enough yet. This is why older people are typically wealthier than younger people. They've have more time to accumulate that money! Not necessarily because they had such an intense education that let to such an intense job that led to such an intense income. Because time builds life and unless you have been freaking out and jamming in every experience humanly possible, there is a heckuva lot you haven't done. Fortunately, you have an equally large amount of time to do those things.
Once again society and media are at their typical hypocritical ways! They tell us age is just a number and that we ought to be youthful and joyful and feel young and beautiful... but then they start dictating what we should have done or be doing or be ready to do at a certain age. I for one am not worried about your or my life markers. I'm not spending my days counting down how much longer I have until I can no longer do certain things or how much longer I have to fulfill a certain expectation. Maybe I won't start using "age-defying gunk"! Or maybe I'll wear my hair long even when I'm 80.
There's no set list of what I should have done by 30 or what I should stop doing before 40 or what I should try after 20. My goals are personal, some are private, but I know I will achieve them, whether it takes me the rest of my life or less time than everyone else. This isn't a race, nor a countdown to death. I'm just enthusiastic about what I will do as I get older. When the time comes, and I know I am old (if that day ever comes), then I will fully embrace it and I will take out my dentures, become racist, tell people how I truly feel about them, and surrender. That day is not coming anytime soon, though, I have many, many years to embrace my youth and all the things I still can and will accomplish.
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Obedience Part II
The government must really be patting themselves on the back with this Kim Davis case. Oh, boy.
They took the "peaceful, hippie liberals" and turned them into bigots with stones in hand, ready to stone Davis to death. Because this will prove that the bible and religion is bad. Or something....
I, for one, really dislike religion, generally. More so, I really dislike when people use religion to oppress others. It is a truly great crime to deny others their needs/desires/or rights by law in order to obey "religious beliefs".
On the other hand, if someone believes in religion, and follows their beliefs to the end of the world, I think it's groovy if they stick to that. Not to stone anyone, light them aflame, lynch them, or cause any physical harm to them.... This is not EVER acceptable. But if someone is willing to go to jail, become public enemy number 1, and be threatened on a daily basis because she followed her beliefs, which, I repeat, did not physically harm anyone, I can't help but respect her a little bit.
I don't expect others to think the way I do. Some people jump at each other's throats over this debate, but I simply have my own view on it. I see great irony in casting stones upon others and calling others bigots while saying that what the other person fought for is not worthy of anything but death....
You can't have it both ways. I'm sorry. If you believe that people *should* follow their beliefs and have religious freedom, and we should respect their beliefs, then you'll just have eat your own words when it backfires.
I find it hilarious.
I don't agree with the choice she made, nor her beliefs. I wish she could lose her job and remain in jail and maybe someone could convert her. However, she believes in a specific Holiness, and I respect her right to believe and follow her religion as she wishes. We should all respect her choice.
In a sane world, we'd all wipe the dust off our hands, realize the woman made her choice in life, and move along. People murder, people rape, people abuse... and we're worried about a woman who rather go to jail rather than sign a paper for two people!?
This isn't a sign of the times, we all know America is progressing. We know that marriage between homosexual individuals will now and likely, forever be legal. We all must continue to fight for peace, love, and understanding, but as of now, the marriage thing is set and settled. That's good to go, ain't nobody, not even Kim Davis is going to change this. America is very pro-gay marriage.
So, then, if one woman wants to go against the law... let her. She wants to risk her reputation and face the consequences? No further action is necessary. That case is over. Stop letting the media manipulate and distract you. The fact that I've now written not one, but two articles about this, because it was such a fiery subject, says something. It says that we are once again getting caught up in bath salts and ebola and every other stupid trend that becomes the news' money funnel.
Let Davis rot in... well, nowhere, most likely. There is no Hell. Let her marinate in her paranoia and schizophrenic-like tendencies. Let the woman suffer in peace! Or, at least, stop talking about stoning her. Sheesh!
They took the "peaceful, hippie liberals" and turned them into bigots with stones in hand, ready to stone Davis to death. Because this will prove that the bible and religion is bad. Or something....
I, for one, really dislike religion, generally. More so, I really dislike when people use religion to oppress others. It is a truly great crime to deny others their needs/desires/or rights by law in order to obey "religious beliefs".
On the other hand, if someone believes in religion, and follows their beliefs to the end of the world, I think it's groovy if they stick to that. Not to stone anyone, light them aflame, lynch them, or cause any physical harm to them.... This is not EVER acceptable. But if someone is willing to go to jail, become public enemy number 1, and be threatened on a daily basis because she followed her beliefs, which, I repeat, did not physically harm anyone, I can't help but respect her a little bit.
I don't expect others to think the way I do. Some people jump at each other's throats over this debate, but I simply have my own view on it. I see great irony in casting stones upon others and calling others bigots while saying that what the other person fought for is not worthy of anything but death....
You can't have it both ways. I'm sorry. If you believe that people *should* follow their beliefs and have religious freedom, and we should respect their beliefs, then you'll just have eat your own words when it backfires.
I find it hilarious.
I don't agree with the choice she made, nor her beliefs. I wish she could lose her job and remain in jail and maybe someone could convert her. However, she believes in a specific Holiness, and I respect her right to believe and follow her religion as she wishes. We should all respect her choice.
In a sane world, we'd all wipe the dust off our hands, realize the woman made her choice in life, and move along. People murder, people rape, people abuse... and we're worried about a woman who rather go to jail rather than sign a paper for two people!?
This isn't a sign of the times, we all know America is progressing. We know that marriage between homosexual individuals will now and likely, forever be legal. We all must continue to fight for peace, love, and understanding, but as of now, the marriage thing is set and settled. That's good to go, ain't nobody, not even Kim Davis is going to change this. America is very pro-gay marriage.
So, then, if one woman wants to go against the law... let her. She wants to risk her reputation and face the consequences? No further action is necessary. That case is over. Stop letting the media manipulate and distract you. The fact that I've now written not one, but two articles about this, because it was such a fiery subject, says something. It says that we are once again getting caught up in bath salts and ebola and every other stupid trend that becomes the news' money funnel.
Let Davis rot in... well, nowhere, most likely. There is no Hell. Let her marinate in her paranoia and schizophrenic-like tendencies. Let the woman suffer in peace! Or, at least, stop talking about stoning her. Sheesh!
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Now We're Getting Obedient?
It is seldom that I comment on pop-news, but there are stories that come along every now and then that really trigger the Socrates in me. This is the case for the Kim Davis situation.(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Davis_(county_clerk)
Upon hearing the details of this case, my first instinct was to oppose Davis and her actions. Denying marriage to two consenting adults, of any mix-n-match of sexual identities sounded like a horrendous, unethical, and illegal act. I wished Davis to be placed in jail, plain and simple, for having broken a law. For her name to be denounced and her professional title removed. The woman should be burned! Well, not to that extent. But, like most of the liberal-minded individuals surrounding me, I felt she was completely in the wrong.
And, I still do. I think her belief in God, God's laws, and God's punishments had no place in her office, nor in her decision to (or to not) wed two homosexual individuals. However, do I think her a dirty weasel who was completely sick in the head to not only break the law, but also go against the principles and morals of her job? Simply put, no.
One of America's favourite heroes, Martin Luther King Jr. himself once said,
“An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law."
Upon hearing the details of this case, my first instinct was to oppose Davis and her actions. Denying marriage to two consenting adults, of any mix-n-match of sexual identities sounded like a horrendous, unethical, and illegal act. I wished Davis to be placed in jail, plain and simple, for having broken a law. For her name to be denounced and her professional title removed. The woman should be burned! Well, not to that extent. But, like most of the liberal-minded individuals surrounding me, I felt she was completely in the wrong.
And, I still do. I think her belief in God, God's laws, and God's punishments had no place in her office, nor in her decision to (or to not) wed two homosexual individuals. However, do I think her a dirty weasel who was completely sick in the head to not only break the law, but also go against the principles and morals of her job? Simply put, no.
One of America's favourite heroes, Martin Luther King Jr. himself once said,
“An individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law."
Does this profound thought not apply to those with whom we disagree? Should man or woman only stand up and break a law they consider unjust IF the liberal majority agree with their point of view or disagree with the law? Where are all those activists and protesters who once firmly believed in civil disobedience... in following your own moral values rather than those of the state... putting yourself at risk of imprisonment and public shaming in the name of your personal beliefs?
Rosa Parks made the choice to go on the bus all those years ago, she then chose to break the law and sit in the front of the bus. Was she also just a hooligan breaking laws? If Miss Parks had not believed in equality, or she had not believed in it to the extent that she did, she never would have put her life and reputation at risk. However, she did, and to this day we praise her. Both because she stood up for the black people, but also because she civil disobedienced the heck out of that situation.
With the government taking more and more control over our lives, this is no time to turn against those who are willing to stand up against that with which they disagree. We should be praising Davis for her willingness to stick to her beliefs in the face of tremendous hatred, as well of the dangers of disagreeing with the popular opinion. What she refused to do did not end any lives, nor did it put anyone in harm's way. The solution only required the engaged couple go to another county clerk.
Yes, Kim Davis belongs in jail. Breaking a law explicitly results in jail time. However, turning against her as she fights for her beliefs is not the next step. Raising awareness and tolerance for homosexuality and the need for equality is where our focus should go next. That includes equality for all to follow their religious beliefs. For all to make choices that they can morally standby. For all to stand up to "The Man" and show that civilians, even those with differing opinions, can stand together and create a community rather than a lynching mob.
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