If you were not aware, one of my many, very impressive credentials is "CSg". That is, Comedy School graduate. Oh, yes! For a wittle bit, I was devoting hours of my life (for a year, to be precise) to writing skits and stand-up, doing improv, and acting.
Don't ask me how that started! Well, it's pretty simple, actually. I loved comedy, I hated college... obla di, obla da -- I was auditioning for comedy school in a hotel room in Manhattan. Oh, what? Are you judging me now? Thinking about my bad life choices, the waste of time, how I threw money out the window? Well, guess what? You're right.
Turns out, I am absolutely a riot without any training at all! I had the teacher and the whole class rolling on the floor on day one.
Improvisation? Not my thing. Skit-writing? Not so much. But stand-up and acting are kinda my jam. I was on and off the stage for a bit and, admittedly, my social anxiety eased up a whole bunch. Turns out, if you're willing to go on stage an admit that you are a gerontophile who writes suicide notes for fun, you can do or say anything in any inappropriate setting. Unless, of course, that audience includes people in power, peers, or my family. Minor caveat.
After that year of debauchery and shenanigans, I continued in the stand-up circuit for a bit. An open-mic or bringer show here and there. Eventually, it pretty much stopped. To be honest, the reason it stopped was because of other comedians. You know, it's sad how many things I've had to stop because people can't act like decent human beings. In this case, there were issues with misogyny and vindictiveness and to be frank, excess use of substances in order to make life tolerable. All things with which I wanted no part. Maybe things are different now. 7 years later, in a world of #MeToo, consequences for one's actions, and vaping... but let's be honest, just because the commercial world "doesn't tolerate poor behaviour", it doesn't mean the mindset has changed. Is anyone convinced that the moment the media acknowledged that treating women like garbage and overdosing on Xanax isn't cool, the people who were committing these crimes all had simultaneous epiphanies and decided to get help and reform? mmmkkayy.....
This isn't why I quit comedy, though.
I didn't quit comedy, actually. My stage has simply changed. Honestly, scripted comedy was becoming boring. The moment something becomes uninteresting or stops being fun, there's little reason to stick around. If a writer can convince me that his/her material is at least somewhat unscripted, that person has my attention. Most of my jokes are off-the-cuff, sometimes really bad, sometimes embarrassing, and always meant with the best intentions. They often come to me when I am working with mental health clients. I also try to help those people to express themselves with humour. We allow it and work with it.
The most entertaining jokes aren't planned. They're sloppy and raw, and sometimes they reveal more than you intended. Now, that's comedy. The written stuff can be just as good and appear just as situational, but sitting down and stressing myself to write something that could just as easily have been accomplished in the moment and just as comical no longer seems worthwhile. Is it because I'm getting old and lazy? Probably not, I was born old and lazy. More likely because, as I worked with said mental health clients, I realized how their jokes came with ease. The room would fill with unfiltered commentary and would burst with laughter. Real, genuine, unexpected laughter that felt so, so good. The kind of jokes that kept you laughing even hours after you thought you were done laughing. The jokes that you think about weeks later and feel like a fool when you can't contain your smirk. I've never had that experience with written jokes because those are part of a formula, a package deal. If you don't remember the wording and timing and the moment, it doesn't really work.
Stand-up comedy is still one of the best art forms, in my opinion. Unquestionably, it's a necessary art that the mental health world should keep an eye on and utilize in the field. However, do I want to be on stage, fighting for laughter and cowering from hecklers, quiet rooms, and cringe-worthy moments from myself and other desperate comedians? Ya know, when the comedian is so attention hungry that he/she is willing to say harmful or ugly things for a laugh? Gross. I'm over it. Maybe I'm even better than it? Comedy just needs a reset button or a new place in the world. It needs to go to its bedroom and think about what its done and what it can do.
Let's make comedy great again.
