I know writing a blog entry about what one fears is not fun. It's not amusing or light-hearted to read. However, sometimes it's called for. We all need to take a moment from time to time and release what haunts the mind. Otherwise, it broods and boils. What happens when you leave a boiling pot of water covered? Yeah... let's avoid that. Onto the fun stuff.
What are common causes of insomnia? Stress, depression, excitement, mania... insomnia is never good but it can be because of a positive reaction. Unfortunately, that is not the case for me. My insomnia is due to horrible images that come into my view at night. Decapitation, terrorism, shooting, stabbing, throwing off buildings... I've seen it all. I've experienced this since as long as I can remember. This is why I talk about death so much. If I didn't laugh about it, I don't know how I'd cope with these thoughts.
This entry is certainly not be about me, though. I will insert my own experiences and, obviously, my views on issues but I don't want to get into my own history. Death intrigues us all to some extent. Some people are deathly afraid of it, some people are fascinated with it, and some are in denial of it. I think that is a big part of where religion comes into play. Humans are experts at finding distractions and ignoring the dark realities of life. While I have no evidence or certainty of it, I can say with a bit of confidence that there probably is no Heaven. Throw out your white robe, stop growing out your beard, and cancel those harp lessons, as there will be no need for that. On the other hand, there is likely no Hell either. Do whatever stupid thing you want, just don't hurt anyone! Not because I said so, not because God said so but because it's illegal. Doesn't matter if you care about morals and you aren't worried about it being done to you in return, just avoid jail. That should be enough reason. Although, if you want free food and housing, I guess I can't really convince you, can I? Therein lies the conundrum of an existentialist. Why should one "behave" if they are not guided by fear of consequences or morals? I got into this topic in my last failed blog thingamadoo but after re-examining the issue... well, I still have no answer. Maybe people should just behave because it will make society more pleasant. Therefore, there will always be people trying to ruin it and there is no reasoning with them. We can only do our best to be a decent being in the subjective eye and maybe help others to be what society has deemed to be appropriate social behaviour. Then, of course, you run into the issue of terrorists. In their society, killing is "appropriate". Taking your life in the name of God is the proper thing to do and there is no one around who is going to tell you otherwise. Does that make it okay? Was sacrifice "okay"? Is cannibalism "okay"? I wouldn't say so and most people wouldn't say so and therefore we go to other cultures and tell them our way is the right way. I don't see any problem with that... as I said, it keeps society running much smoother. On the other hand, if there were more of them, more terrorists than average people, more cannibals than... whatever the opposite of a cannibal is and they came to us and started jailing us and punishing us for our choices, would that then be the "okay" thing? Is it simply a matter of numbers or is it influence? Americans have one of the greatest influences on other nations in the world and yet, I see it an impossible task for Americans to convince every other being that just sitting down for a cup of coffee is better than strapping bombs to children. Speaking of which, shouldn't the instinctual need to care for and protect one's child already be taking care of this? What could be the thought process of a mother setting her boy up with bombs? "Here, honey, have a nice time blowing up. Don't forget your lunch! Never explode on an empty stomach!" (Again- how would we cope without some humour?)
That is what we call an Ariel tangent. Those happen. I am talking death here, though. Right? Right. It's amazing what people will do to avoid recognizing their own decline. It is also amazing what people will do and risk in order to avoid the decline or loss of others. Yin and yang. Yo and yo. Salt n Pepa. It's all about balance.