At what point in one's friendship with someone, can you say, "Stop complaining!" ?
Is there a point where, no matter how much despair and grief they're in, you're allowed to lose some sympathy for someone because they complain so much?
This question is not about any ONE particular person, I should mention. I just know way too many boxes o' whine. And, that's not to say they don't have reason to do it (in their mind...), but at some point, it becomes clear that their self-pity party is not helping anyone! Oftentimes, it just pushes people away. Of course, then the remaining friends of said whiner just have to hear about how Pity-Patty's life is so terrible, she even just lost a friend. Poooooor Pity-Patty.
The thing is, I think people who complain loudly are what I shall refer to as, "Extroverted Beggars". That sounds a lot worse than what I really mean. I am talking about those people who tell everyone (or just one person repeatedly), how sad they are. How hard their life is. How their life is dramatic and movie-esque, and they are the tragic hero. These people, really, are just hoping someone will come along and fix them.
Either that, or they really love the attention and pity. Not that they'd ever admit that. Understandable.
The opposite type is the "Introverted Seeker". This person has all that pain and trauma, too, but they are terrified of telling anyone. They just soak in their misery. Sometimes it can be hard for these types to deal with Extroverted Beggars. This is for several reasons. Often, the ones who speak up get more people's support and love and help. While the Seeker, who would love those things, sits back and silently envies others' ability to speak about their issues. The Beggars will claim to be alone and have it much worse and say everything bad happens to them, meanwhile, they are completely downplaying the hurt and difficulties of the Seeker. This can be hard to deal with.
Of course, it goes both ways. While the Beggar does love some aspect of the thrill or the adventure or the attention, part of them wishes they could be like the Seeker. Or, how they perceive the Seeker and their "simple and undramatic" life. Also, the Beggar's actions do catch up with them. A chain reaction of bad or difficult things or people saying or doing the wrong thing come along, and the Beggar's life ends up actually getting harder. It become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Which, both, makes the Beggar satisfied and miserable. Especially if and when the Beggar gets tired of the excitement and hopes to settle down into the life of the Seeker.
Anyway, you get the idea... I'm bored of writing about this.