Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Casual Encounters

Since I am trying to stay hip and trendy with the kids, I just started learning a new modern song on guitar. The song is called "Stay With Me" by Sam Smith. Prior to finding this song under "Top 100 Hits", I had never heard of the song, heard the song, or heard of Sam Smith (no relation to The Smiths or Patti Smith, it seems.)

After playing the song a couple times, I realized two things:

1- This song is pretty boring. 
2- This song is quite stupid.

Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand

But I still need love cause I'm just a man

These nights never seem to go to plan

I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?


Won't you stay with me?

Cause you're all I need

This ain't love it's clear to see

But darling, stay with me


Let's see what we have here.... The young man just had a one-night stand, but he's realizing he's not very good at them. I guess this means he gets emotionally attached? 
       Why am I so emotional?
No it's not a good look, gain some self control

Yes, it's confirmed. He doesn't understand why he gets so emotionally attached... ya know, to the person with whom he was just physically intimate. He's saying that this is a bad trait and he should stop caring about people after intimacy. Sure, emotions should have nothing to do with the most vulnerable thing one can do with their body.... This seems like a good lesson.

I am getting ahead of myself here, though. Let's just stick with the main point Mr. Smith is making. He's not in love with the person he was intimate with, but at the same time, he wants the person to stay with him. For what? The day? Does he want to go shopping for matching Crocs and share a slice of apple pie at a 24-hour diner, or does he mean, seriously, you have to stay with me, you're naked, your hands are roped together, and I will use my taser on you if you try to escape? I mean, let's define this relationship right off the bat, please. 

After all, "you" are all he needs. A one-night stand who doesn't leave. However, "you" probably want to run off to work or to your spouse or to feed your dog. All reasonable requests. Also, let's not ignore the first two lines. He straight-up makes it clear that he doesn't want to be intimate with you, but he's a man, he needs to commit the act. It's normal, it's healthy, he's really just an animal following his primal instinct. Alas, he doesn't love you, so cuddle him a bit, then go feed your dog. This man has NEEDS! Hey, he called you darling, didn't he? If that's not respect, I don't know what is. 

What occurred to me after reading these lyrics over several times is just how many songs are pushing casual sex. I get it, being a "slut" is now the cool thing to do. Open relationships and open minds, man! Because everyone wants and needs different things, we have to accept ourselves and the desires of others. Like, groovy, yeah.  

Just one question, if I may....

Did we learn nothing from the AIDS epidemic? Free love is not cool, man. Condoms aren't 100% effective. Birth control isn't 100% effective. Even being sterilized isn't 100% effective! Like, yo, how about you simmer down, hot pants? If you have needs, go have that checked out. Go to a store, or a website, or hire a "friend of the night". She/he gets paid to take that risk. If you have two consenting adults, I understand that's it's all s'aright morally and whatnot, but this does not mean that one should jingle all the jangles in town. Don't go blowing on every wind chime you see just because you "need to" and that's what it's there for. 

Have fun, forgive yourself and others for your past (or forget about it), but don't go climbing up too many coconut trees or, eventually, one will fall on you and break your legs. 

You still with me? Cool. Stay with me.

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