Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Love me do

Why do people keep telling me to stop approaching the guy I'm interested in and instead, to go for the guy who is interested in me?

Yeah, he's nice. Yeah, he's sweet and compliments me and is there for me. But, he's not the person to whom I'm romantically attracted. I want to woo and wow the guy I'm interested in! He's also nice and sweet and funny and we get along really well, he just needs some coaxing.

This mostly bothers me because all the guys I know are always being told to fight for the woman they love. That they should not give up. However, I have to give up on my dream guy and settle for the one who wants me! Naw aw, honey, I'm not waiting around to be picked from the chicken coop. I'm not ignoring my desires because it takes some work. I'm not letting go of someone I care about because it might not go my way. I'm tougher and braver than that.

If I were a feminist, I might point out that women have been trained to let men pick them and decide for them. I know that in the past, the guys I've seen the most are the one who were interested in me and pursued me and *convinced* me (or tried) that they are the best and worth my time.

Well, I'm SO not into being selected and convinced. I want what I want, not what society thinks will be best for me or what the lonely dude thinks is best for me. This conditioning that has taught me to choose the guy who picked me is sick! It's been ingrained into my thinking my entire life. Progressively, maybe there are more movies about women choosing the man they want and fighting for him... maybe! Typically, though, the dude changes the girls mind while the woman gives up on the guy who is a "jerk" simply because he's not into her. He's not a jerk, and she's not stupid for continuing to pursue him.

Of course, at some point it might make sense to just let it go if a guy really is uninterested, but I can choose when that time comes. No one else has to tell me and decide that it's better that I give up and force myself to like the guy the other dude. He may very well be "good" for me, but that's because he moulded himself into someone "good" for me, and I convinced myself that he is just that. It would be funny if it weren't such a real and stupid problem.

I do not believe in being chosen, I do not believe in settling, and I do not believe in giving up. If my instinct and gut tell me someone is right for me, no more will I follow the advice of others. Others who tell me to forget him if he's not immediately interested. I'm the fighter, I'm the lion.

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